


you'll find your way (and may death find you alive)

by kadaransmuggler



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Depends on your definition of well, F/M, Nova didn't handle it well, Nova's got a fucked up backstory, Or maybe she did, blind betrayal, referenced character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadaransmuggler/pseuds/kadaransmuggler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those who ignore the past are doomed to repeat it. Nova Blackburn would rather die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you'll find your way (and may death find you alive)

**Author's Note:**

> I just had a lot of feelings after playing through Blind Betrayal with the backstory I gave Nova. So, spoilers for that quest obvs but wow I'm late to the Fallout 4 party.

When Elder Maxson told her she was expected to hunt down and kill Paladin Danse, Nova’s first thought was that this was all some terrible joke. “You’re kidding, right?” she asked, and she thinks back to another place a long time ago when she made a dumb, stupid mistake because orders were orders. 

 

“This isn’t a joking matter, Knight. You have your orders. Go meet with Proctor Quinlan,” Maxson tells her, and it is then and there that Nova decides she will not make the same mistake twice. She remembers a girl and a gun and bullet fired and she remembers blood pooling on dirty pavement. Her shoulders stiffen as she walks through the hallways of the Prydwen, and she doesn’t know if anything is worth killing a friend over. 

* * *

When Scribe Haylen pulls Nova aside, Nova follows her with a hard set to her jaw. “Do you really plan on hunting and killing Danse, Knight?” Haylen asks, and Nova pushes her up against the boxes, one hand on the Scribe’s hip and the other bracing against the wall. If anyone found them, they’d think it was some sort of lover’s embrace. She could feel Haylen blushing, and a feral smile quirked the corners of her lips upward. 

 

“That’s a risky question, Scribe,” Nova breathes, and she can feel Haylen’s breath catch her throat. 

 

“Are you going to report me for insubordination?” she asks, and Nova chuckles. 

 

“I wont, if you don't report me. I’m going to find Danse, and then I’m going to protect him. I’ll die if I have to. But orders are orders,” Nova whisper, and a slight grin graces the Scribe’s lips. 

 

“I think I know where you can start looking, then,” Haylen tells her. 

* * *

When she finds Danse, Nova throws her gun across the room and launches herself at Danse with enough force to make him stagger. His arms come around her automatically and she closes her eyes, breathing in his scent for a moment. She'd been scared she wouldn't make it in time. “I suspected Maxson would send someone. He never does the dirty work himself. I just wish it hadn't been you,” Danse says, bitterly, and Nova pulls back long enough to show him the feral grin on her face. 

 

“If he won't do it, then he can’t complain about how it gets done. Give me your holotags. It doesn’t have to end like he wants,” she says, and her words are hushed and hurried. 

 

“No, Nova, I know how bad this must be for you, but I must be the example, not the exception. I’m a synth,” Danse says, and Nova barks out a harsh and bitter laugh, her fingers curling into the orange fabric of his uniform. 

 

“Fuck that, and fuck Maxson. You’re not dying like this,” she snarled, and Danse was taken aback by the intensity of her words. 

 

“Then I’ll have to leave the Commonwealth,” he said, and there was an unspoken end to that sentence. _I’ll have to leave you._  

 

She leans up to press a kiss to his lips, all tongue and teeth and desperation. “You’d be safe,” she whispers, and she remembers pressing her hands to a bullet wound from a gun whose trigger she pulled, and she would rather die than make that mistake again. 

 

“We should…we should go now,” Danse says, and Nova pretends not to see the pink of his cheeks. 

 

“Let’s,” she says, and she leads the way out of the bunker, her gun gripped tight in shaking hands. 

* * *

She should have been expecting Elder Maxson to be standing outside. “I should have known you wouldn’t follow your orders,” he snarled, and Nova growled, an animalistic sound. She took satisfaction in the way that Maxson flinched. Her anger was a hard and heavy thing, a weapon in it's own right.   

 

“Get out of our way. I'm walking out of here, and he's coming with me,” she says, and she takes a few steps to the side so she’s standing in front of Danse, eying the rifle in Maxson's hand. Danse is nearly a head taller than her, and she only hopes he would have enough sense to duck if Maxson tried to fire that gun. 

 

“Nova, stop. It’s not worth it. You tried to save me, and that’s what’s important,” Danse says, his voice soft and insistent behind her, a hand reaching out to rest on her hip. 

 

“Danse, shut the fuck up. I know what I’m doing, for once,” Nova says, and she remembers a time when she didn’t. 

 

“You’d give your life for this abomination?” Maxson asks, and Nova snarls, her fingers twitching on her gun. 

 

“No. I’d die for my friend,” she says, and Maxson narrows his eyes. 

 

“Either you execute him, or I do. It’s your choice, soldier,” Maxson says, and Nova straightens her back and levels a glare at him. 

 

“No. You’re going to listen to me, because after all the shit I’ve been through for your _fucking_ Brotherhood you owe me that,” Nova said, and Maxson sighs, making a gesture of surrender. 

 

“Fine. I’ll listen to you. For now,” he says, and the angry glare in his eyes is enough to make Nova shiver. 

 

“We are the choices we make, Maxson. And I don’t know if you’ll like what I become if you make that choice,” Nova says, and there is a hard, cold thing in her voice. Maxson frowns, his fingers shifting on his gun, and then he sighs. 

 

“Danse died here today, Knight, as far as I'm concerned. I’m going back to the Prydwen, and you are going to submit a full report about how you followed through with your orders. If he is seen again, all Brotherhood members will shoot to kill. Are we clear?” Maxson says, and Nova doesn’t let her smile grow too wide just yet, afraid that she is walking into a trap. She always is. 

 

“Crystal, Elder,” she replies, and she remains tense until he is long out of view. She releases all of her built up tension in a single breath, and then Danse is there, pulling her into a hug that she sags into, her arms wrapping around him weakly. 

 

“I can’t believe you were willing to die for me,” Danse whispers, and Nova nestles her head under his chin. 

 

“I couldn’t make the same mistake twice. I couldn’t kill a friend. Not ever again. I couldn't kill you. I'd rather die,” she says, and then she pulls back and wipes her eyes with her shaking hands before holstering her gun, taking a deep breath.

 

“I’m staying. In the Commonwealth. I’ll go anywhere with you. Just, ah, not anywhere near the Brotherhood,” Danse says, and Nova lets out a tired laugh. 

 

“I’ll report to Maxson, and then I’ll take you up on that offer,” she says, turning to walk away. Danse catches her at the last moment, spinning her around and pressing a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. She smiles against him.  

 

“Be careful,” he tells her. 

 

“I always am,” she answers, even though they both know she is never careful. 

* * *

She finds that even disobeying a direct order from her superiors result in a hefty promotion and all of Danse’s things becoming hers. She wonders if the Brotherhood is really that desperate, but as she curls up on the bed that still smells like him, too exhausted to sleep, she thinks about how close the past came to happening again. She curls her fist around the necklace she wears and lets out a long, shaky breath. This time, she doesn’t bother wiping her tears away. 


End file.
